SCHOOLBOY PRANK RUNS COUNTRY : NEWS WIRES are humming today with leaked footage from 10 Downing Street which clearly shows a blonde man putting UK democracy into a wheelie bin.
“It’s so blatant, it’s hard to believe your eyes,” a spokesman for Defend Our Democracy said, “he’s blurry, but that’s because of all the hot air swirling about him from some kind of endless fire in his pants. It’s very clear who it is though. And it’s bloody obvious what he’s up to.”
The blonde man himself has not been named, although LCD Views can say with complete authority his nickname is ‘Eton Mess’.
Police are tightlipped over what action will be taken, if any, because these days crimes and misdemeanours by people of high status are apparently labelled ‘political sensitive’.
But a spokesalienfaceeatingandroidliverchurningmonsterfromtheplanetzaaargonworkexperience at 10 Downing Street has this to say,
“Your democracy is not at risk,” which was reassuring, “you will be allowed to vote again, one day, just as soon as we’ve imported a bunch of secondhand electronic voting booths from our friends in the USA, for the Russian to hack.”
Attempts are currently underway to retrieve UK democracy from the bin. Democracy’s current status is believed to be ‘Schrodinger’s Cat’.