PROJECT ASSET STRIPPER : Can assets strip? What do they wear underneath? Is it silky and sheer? Does it cover the rear? Are British assets outwardly prim and repressed, but behind closed doors kinky and rapacious? All these questions and more will be answered after Brexit.
“It’s going to be wonderful. So great. So so big. Really just the biggest. I can smell the fire sale smoke from here, all the way across the Atlantic,” US Senator Mr Durti Deeds III spoke to LCD Views earlier, giving his vision for post Brexit relations across the pond, “it’s already smouldering. All that US money hasn’t been injected into UK politics via ‘think tanks’ and pretend media outlets for nothing.”
Good to know! There’s a plan for us after all.
“I’ll just snuggle you down in my portfolio and wait for your asset value to rise again, after clearing out the deadwood, before selling you on to the Chinese for a profit.”
Reassuring news indeed, with fears the UK will be vulnerable and all alone after Brexit.
“The special relationship is gonna get real special. Especially once the market is allowed to do its Godly work of sorting out all those regulations and all that red tape.”
The words from the senator contrasted with others who were saying there’s not going to be a trade deal if the UK government doesn’t protect peace in NI.
“There won’t be a Northern Ireland after Brexit,” our man shrugged, “there will be an Ireland. It’s plain as day. So this is all virtue signalling to distract from the real business to be done.”
Project Firesale. That’s Brexit. That’s always being Brexit. Take back control of what we never lost control of to lose control of it complete.