THIS IS BEING DONE IN YOUR NAME : The stellar achievements and tangible benefits of Brexit for the UK are too often not reported. The chance to move home due to government policy. The opportunity to revive barter in a cashless society. The ability to improve your handwriting by filling out endless customs and visa forms. Well. Today that changes.
“We’re to become the world’s foremost Fuckoffcracy,” a Home Office android told LCD Views, on the condition we did not keep the news to ourselves.
Under the bold and enterprising plan Home Office minister, Priti Patel, has decided to revive a failed negotiating tactic from failed May’s premiership.
“We’re attempting to hold millions of people to ransom in the hope of bluffing the EU into caving on peace and security on the island of Ireland,” the droid smiled, “with not a care for the psychological anguish this causes. With no thought to the reputation harm to the UK. This time we really believe we are going to win.”
And the prize is immense. It is a golden moment. To tear up the legal rights of millions of people overnight. Just like that.
“Not since the 1930’s has a developed country had the vim and verve of Brexit Britain,” the droid sparked (one pulsating spark at the temple), “just imagine being Boris Johnson, with Priti Patel riding shotgun, and looking twenty seven countries that called us friend in the face and saying, at the stroke of a clock millions of your citizens will have many of the most vital rights ripped from their hands. That takes some nerve.”
Brexit Britain. The world’s most prominent Fuckoffcracy. And it’s being done right now and in your name.
“If we can treat the lives of foreign born citizens with such contempt,” the droid finished, “just wait till you see what we’ll do to you after you’ve allowed us to take away your freedom of movement.”