TICK TOCK : Amazing news from Westminster today with the announcement that former EU council president, Donald Tusk, has been chosen by MPs across party lines to lead a government of national unity.
“Just to ensure no more time is wasted,” a somber looking Mr Tusk said, speaking at the lectern outside 10 Downing Street, Larry the cat by his side.
“Miaow,” Larry added, lending credence to speculation he is fully supportive of a collaborative approach.
The move has surprised many on the official opposition front bench. Most MPs are said to have been surprised at the announcement.
“For three years we’ve done our utmost to be irrelevant in the hope the hard right would break all the eggs and we’d then get to swan in over the wreckage, having done bugger all to oppose the Tories but call for the immediate trigger of Article 50 on the 24/6/16, and then vote to trigger it with no plan, together with the Tories. It’s funny how few of our supporters consider the failed attempt in 2011 to get an IN/OUT EU ref, when current Labour leadership worked with prominent Tory Brexiters to attempt to get the ref then. Amnesia is such a thing nowadays.”
No revelation there.
“Multi-millionaire, career politician, Jeremy Corbyn, is said to be pleased with the choice though,” our GNU correspondent (a recent hire) reports, “as he had planned a camping holiday for October. Now he and his mate Seumas can triangulate from the shadows and continue to pretend, that in-spite of whipping against measures only months ago to stop No Deal, it’s what he really wants to do.”
The qualified wording in his recent letter to MPs, requesting he runs the government, with its trademark fudge and get out clauses, also suggest he is relieved that someone else will have to deal with the responsibility.
But not everyone is pleased.
The ERG are said to be planning a mass sacrifice of “ungardened baby family animals” in the hope their dark lord in Hell overturns the decision and installs a complete and total, soulless bastard as leader instead. A move they would see as continuity.
We here at LCD Views think opposition parties should work together and be less concerned about who leads the government, but just get the Tory charlatans out of office and organise the future of the country like grown-ups, and with a renewed adherence to rule of law.
Anyone who thinks all this GNU stuff isn’t just posturing ahead of Boris Johnson calling for a GE hasn’t considered his individual psychology and how likely he is to attempt to govern with a majority of SFA. Also how likely he is to soon lose a few more MPs, once enough of them get up the courage to effectively sack their own government. And they need time to gird their loins, as many are receiving death threats. Jo Cox may have been forgotten by Boris Johnson, as evidenced by his incite-full speeches, but not all MPs.
“I’m only here until 10 Downing Street is completely disinfected,” Mr Tusk added, before going inside to begin work, leading to speculation he intends to govern for life.