WILLY WAVING : An ageing hen fancier made an impact today when he thrust himself into a taxpayer funded social event at a fashionable London townhouse.
We spoke to two of the ladies who attended the soirée to see what impact the old boy made?
Although it’s clear from the press images published after the event, whatever the actual motive for the gathering, the spotlight was stuck on a Henry VIII tribute act, and not the ladies themselves.
“He just strode right up to our table like he owned the place,” the first woman reported, “thrusting his pelvis about like he had something stuck, you know, in his behind.”
“I thought he was trying to hold in a fart,” the second giggled.
“Oh, I wondered why he was thrusting his hips at us like that. Clenched tight. Imagine being stuck in a lift with him?”
“He nearly took my eye out!”
“I don’t think it was big enough to do that much damage, to be fair. It wasn’t a health and safety matter, more an issue of taste.”
But what did he ask you?
“He wanted to know if we’d seen his massive cock. Apparently it was right there in front of us,” the second woman shrugged, “he does have a reputation for getting it out wherever he goes.”
“I think one of the ladies at our table had seen it before,” the first woman whispered, “you know, the one young enough to be his daughter.”
“Oh my God. You don’t think he’s a bit like Trump?”
“She wasn’t his actual daughter,” the first clarified, “she just looked young enough to be so. Between you and me I suspect they’re up to something. Although it won’t last. That old boy had a roaming eye.”
“I heard he’s been married a few times before and he doesn’t even know how many kids he has. Bit of a rogue. What do people say now? He’s polyamorous?”
“I think you mean love rat.”
But did you see his massive cock? By the look of a photo we’ve seen on social media it was hard to miss.
“I admit I did glance at it. It was hard not to,” the first lady shrugged, “it’s not the first time I’ve seen one. But the others have been much bigger.”