DIESEL DID IT : A corporate spokesman, claiming to speak for global chicken chain KFC (we haven’t verified any claims made – it’s conceivable this is all entirely made up) has today denied the launch of an offshoot food franchise, Kentucky Fried Rat, is related to Brexit.
“It’s to take advantage of available, domestic food sources,” Mr Rattus Rattus told LCD Views.
We encountered the spokesman while taking the trash out. He seemed to be trying to enter our offices by a small gap in the frame of the backdoor to our building.
“Someone at head office heard the oft mentioned claim that you’re never more than six feet away from a Brexit supporting politician in Westminster and it was a light bulb moment.”
But envious, treasonous, remoaning critics of the British food industry, and the ingenuity of global success stories, have hit back at the claims the decision to begin selling fried rat are not related to Brexit.
“We’re going to have to eat whatever we can get our hands on if No Deal Brexit is achieved, for want of a better word,” Mr Critic said, “so it’s entirely not credible that the decision to cook rat, and other rodents easily found in big cities and rural barns, is not related to Brexit. Dress it up in as many secret herbs and spices as you like, but this is because the farming sector will be decimated by Boris Johnson and his government of rogues. And it’s uncertain how long it will take to conclude an FTA with the Trump government, due to certain meddling senators not wishing to be party to the end of peace in Northern Ireland, and thus delaying the arrival of hormone pumped US poultry.”
Typical remainer, blathering on about broader concerns.
We here at LCD Views would like to commend the fictional move on behalf of the fried food superhero and look forward to ordering our first bucket of rat.
“It won’t be served in buckets,” the spokesman chipped back in, “it’ll be served in sacks.”