LOVE LOVE ME SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME : Reports tonight from central London tonight that a blonde man has been sedated after seeing himself in a mirror and spontaneously booing.
“It’s believed the unplanned reflection occurred shortly after a return from a hastily scheduled trip to Wales,” our London correspondent reports, “the man, described by witnesses as an idiot and a charlatan promoted well beyond his competency by currency speculators, was walking along the hall of his new home when he accidentally looked to the left.”
It’s not known if the mirror in question was there prior to the return from the colony of vowels that look like consonants (to the blonde man), or if his live in mistress hung the mirror during his absence as payback for an argument focused on a laptop a few weeks ago.
”It’s not believed the man, described by additional witnesses as a mash up between Daedalus and Narcissus (not the wee daffodil kind), was expecting to boo himself. Rather it’s thought recent public outings may have had a serious, presumably short term, impact on his self esteem.”
He is being treated at a private hospital in the city with a heavy dose of barbiturates and a rolling film reel of times when he was adored.
”A partial recovery is expected. Doctors intend to keep the blonde man under sedation and whisper into his ear the sort of complete and utter, unjustifiable, self reinforcing garbage he tells himself in the quiet hours.”
Public outings are expected to be better organised from now on, to avoid spontaneous booing of the kind that are believed to have triggered the event.
”He’s replaying his predecessor’s time in office on fast forward,” the correspondent notes, “so we expect as part of the cure he will now only appear in isolated locations with a handpicked audience of bribed performers.”