[Geordie voiceover] It’s day six in the JRM house. The new housemates have settled in, and some interesting interactions are taking place. Alexander is busy charming the pants off everybody, and insisting that they call him ‘Boris’.
“Only mummy calls me Alex,” he waffles to the girls. “Call me Boris, it’s much more exotic, much more ‘me’!”
[Voiceover] Priti and her little clique are bitching behind the others’ backs. Meanwhile, Nadine has been put in charge of the shopping list.
“I think we should have a hundred raw kangaroo scrotums,” she announced. “No, we should get lots of bile instead,” argued Priti. “Six magnums of Veuve Cliquot! That’s all I need!” insisted Alex/Boris. “We need food? Who knew?” said Dominic, amazed.
[Voiceover] Dominic has recently discovered the significance of the doors in the house.
“I knew where they were, and that they were called doors,” he admitted to anyone within earshot. “But I hadn’t grasped their significance in enabling the flow of personnel from one space into another.”
[Voiceover] The housemates have been set a challenge. Nadine, who writes books in her spare time, has the envelope containing it.
“You must get through the day without saying any of the following words,” she gasped. “Very. Got. Hopefully. Equal. Speculate. And there’s more, look…” Gasps of horror echoed through the house. “The forfeit will be an hour in the sensory deprivation chamber!”
[Voiceover] 12.36. All the housemates are now in the sensory deprivation chamber. They have been in there since 11.36, and as they emerge, Dominic is talking to Priti.
“I’ve just got it!” he gushed. “It means, depriving us of any stimulus to the senses! I love it in here, don’t you?”
“F*@# off, you stupid little man,” relied Priti.
[Voiceover] 12.41. All the housemates are back in the sensory deprivation chamber.
[Voiceover] 10.03 pm. The housemates have been allowed to leave the chamber so they can go to bed. Alex has completed his transformation into Boris, Priti is displaying psychopathic behaviour, and Nadine is convinced that she is a celebrity. Only Dominic is happy and relaxed.
Goodnight from the JRM house.