DAZED AND CON-FUSED : BRITAIN’S worst prime minister, Boris Johnson, is to repeat the mistakes of Britain’s other worst prime minister, Theresa May, but to do it a hell of a lot faster.
“We only need 100 days to do over May’s time in office,” an aide to Boris Johnson said, “because she’s laid out the pattern. It’ll just look different because the bucket is different, but it’s the same shit inside. This is because we won’t acknowledge the real world either, until it’s too late to salvage our credibility, just like May.”
The evidence for this is all over, if you just look behind the bluster and bollocks. And step aside from the fear of so many disgraced and dubious people being back on the inside.
“The sloganeering is the same May started with. Do or Die Brexit is Brexit means Brexit, or No Deal is Better Than A Bad Deal. Believe in Britain is Red, White and Blue Brexit. It’s the same nonsense, just re-presented and blasted out of a bumbling, blonde megaphone instead of a Maybot.”
But because the time frame is much narrower, old Johnson will have to smash through the stages. Bravado will achieve nought. He’ll realise (he already knows) he needs to increase his commons majority to do what he says he will. He’ll keep saying there’s no GE and then he’ll call for a GE. He’ll lose, just like May did.
“That’s the chance to stop this repetitive, attritional trench war against ourselves,” the aide said, “and Boris knows it. One big roll of the die. Do or Die! What ho!”
So be ready. Don’t believe the hype. Reality+EU will grind Boris up just like it did those who came before. He can pretend to might all he likes, but the actuality of difference in relative power is the shadow spreading over his head.
“Can you see Johnson trying to govern in the same neurotic, control freak way of May? A man with an ego the size of Jupiter is going to be called up each and every day by any number of MPs, for who he holds only contempt, and threatened with a loss of a vote if he doesn’t give way? No,”
“we’re just grateful Labour didn’t table a VONC for the first day back in September. Win or lose it, it would have ruined our summer. It would have been a serious distraction, sitting there on Boris’s desk, a complete turd sandwich, only getting smellier with each gaffe and fresh offence over the summer. But that’s out of the way. Thanks Jezza! A summer of data mining and campaigning is the play and then to the polls. It’ll all be over by Christmas.”
There is a GE coming. Be ready for one. It’s on its way.