HE DOESN’T LIKE IT UP HIM : ERG sack of something, Mark Francois (Tory MP for Uninformed-wyth-Belligerence) says he will refuse the Légion d’honneur when it is offered to him, for personally defeating the Nazis in WW2, because he doesn’t take awards from Germans.
Speaking to Peston, Newsnight and late night current affairs programme, Bummed Eye, little Mark was adamant that any awards “foreign powers try and bribe me with to make me into a TRAITOR who seeks to thwart the SWILL OF THE PEOPLE will be shoved back in their faces”.
RIGHT ON.
The diminutive little soldier of English toxic nationalism has of late been one of the primed spokestwats for the ERG/Tories after the media successfully elevated previous, more legible, versions to positions of power and influence.
Now they’ve taken on a serious challenge attempting to elevate the tiny power pack of idiocy.
“I want English medals because I’m English with an English surname,” Mark continued, “you have to call me Mark French from now on. Because French is how the English say Francois and I’m ENGLISH.”
Quite how Mark French came to think that the French government was going to award him with their highest honour is not yet clear.
“Herr Junker wants to influence me and make me into a traitor,” Mark spat and fizzed, “but I won’t take any awards from Germans. I didn’t imagine myself bayoneting Fritz all through my childhood reading Commando comics to turn into a traitor now, right when we’re about to declare war on them again!”
He will however be perfectly happy to accept a new award being devised by Boris Johnson’s government, The Order of the Gammon, and “where the salty slab of ham with pride.”
Global Britain, making friends is so yesterday.