GOLDEN (FOOL’S) DAWN : BORIS deprattle Johnson, prime minister only for Brexiters in Britain, took to the House of Commons yesterday and signalled his intention to tear the place apart. After which he will make it anew. A modern day democratic Doctor Frankenstein. IT’S ALIVE! IT’S ALIVE!
“He’s got an exceptionally clever plan for governance,” our political analyst notes, “he’s filled his cabinet with sociopaths. And not only that, attention seeking sociopaths who it can safely be presumed all believe they should be prime minister and all hate each other. How can he not succeed?”
Such a concentration of energies in one room can only lead to a powerful experience for all concerned. No more so than in consideration of how many of them have already held a cabinet position, been disgraced and gone back to forment trouble on the back benches.
Now returned to be disgraced again. Leopards and spots and all that. We pay the cost of this vanity shitshow of power grubbing shysters. What a time to be alive.
“You’re now a bystander, like the official opposition has chosen to be by putting that next VONC on a tantric timescale,” our analyst continues, “some of you will survive, be in no doubt as the dawn of the golden age gives way to the midmorning of despair. This is before the lunch of travesties and the afternoon tea of conspiratorial electoral crime.”
But everyone will be invited to dinner. The only concern is that Hannibal Lectre is the cook. Eat your own brains now we’d advise, it’ll make what happens afterwards in Johnson’s reign easier.
Let the new golden age of Britannia begin and let it shine like only fool’s gold can.