MOON SHOOTS PM : The Chairman of Conservative Party 1922 committee has confirmed tonight that he has already received the 48 letters of no confidence in Boris Johnson required to trigger the next Tory Party leadership election.
But while the forward thinking action on behalf of the last remaining shreds of anything approaching sanity in the Party is no surprise, allies of Boris Johnson have been quick to point out the flaws in the mad scheme to dethrone the presumptive mad king.
”He may not even get to be prime minister,” Mr Bungle MP said, “so don’t go getting carried away with no confidence motions. At least until he’s taken office and declared on day one that he’s going to raise the Titanic and conquer Suez.”
And the prospect of Boris even making it to Downing Street was raised again elsewhere today as another Tory MP was lost due to gross crimes.
The slowly draining swamp that the party has become continues to drain itself for want of an official opposition that doesn’t also want Brexit, and so could, throw it out of office, if it didn’t actually also want Brexit.
“Will Boris Johnson even have a majority by the time he is declared party leader? Good question. Possible but not certain,” Mr Bungle added, in a surprising display of clarity, “let’s not presume Hunt will beat him. Ghastly man. Doesn’t even know where his wife is from.”
All the while the letters of no confidence in a man not even in office yet continue to pile in.
”It’s merely so the history books reflect them not backing the move that finally destroys the grand old party of British politics,” Bungle added, “and this after they’ve spent three years facilitating this bollocks. Well, you won’t find my letter in the pile. Unless, and I want to make this absolutely clear, unless I don’t get a job in cabinet after Boris moves his girlfriends into number 10.”