LEAKPROOF IS FOOLPROOF : The MIGHTY BRITISH Government has today announced a diplomatic PR drive in the wake of the Darroch scandal.
The drive, with the working title of ‘Believe In US’ will go on throughout the summer and is aimed at winning back lost reputational cache after the UK’s ambassador to the USA was rightly set up and felled on the world stage. All thought criminals will face the same justice.
”Just because we’re turning on our own doesn’t mean you can’t trust us,” mouthpiece for the campaign, Isabell Oldshaft, told LCD Views, “we’re rooting out our own traitors. We’re putting the fear of being labelled heretic for honestly doing your job into our own people. Not yours. You can trust US.”
As part of the PR drive, which can’t fail to reassure our grateful trading partners and colonies, fresh posters have been produced to be displayed at imperial outposts across the globe.
“This can only help with our outreach mission,” Oldshaft commented, “and the battalion of catchy phrases too. Such as ‘Brexit Britain – send us your cash, but keep your people at home’, such instructive, trendy messaging will hopefully save us from having to deport so many undesirables. Believe in Brexit. Believe in purity.”
The posters will also be available to purchase at home and it is recommended that every house buys one and displays it proudly in a street facing window.
”Get ahead of the game on that one,” Oldshaft suggested, “once the PR campaign has won back our reputation as a country sensiblely governed by mature, forward looking, pragmatic people, then we’ll be taking the purge from the civil service and into each and every home.”
Believe in US. Or face the consequences.