HIGH COST OF WORD SALADS : Boris Johnson has revealed a hitherto unseen sensitive side today when talking about his personal fears regarding a tax on bad syntax.
“We have to…aaaahhh….like Agamemmon in the hall of memes…constructing a bus. A red bus. What I do is…ummmm…I get these memes of Troy and I paint them,” Mr Johnson, sloth like on a sofa, revealed, “with pictures. Happy pictures of fillies I’ve lusted after. The minotaur mounts the big eyed doe. It makes the commies very envious. I tell you! Ha! Tax is theft. I’m Robin Hood. Like a man in green tights holding a bow aloft the sparkling lake, the hand clad in the purest shimmering seamens.”
The tax on bad syntax was introduced by a previous Tory administration, but it’s out the door if Mr Johnson succeeds in becoming prime minister.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-48847952
“I just could not pay a syntax tax, morally or fiscally,” he continued, “the Battle of the Bulge. All over again! Surrounded on all sides by tax collectors. Word salads. What I do is, I make word salads because they appeal to idiots. I am rightly proud of my salads. They’re my raison determination.”
Whether or not the other chap in the running to be the next prime minister, Jeremy Hunt, would also review the syntax tax, and other wrath inducing levies on fun, isn’t clear.
He is however thought to favour a new tax on the mispronunciation of public figure’s names. Specifically his own name, Mr Hunt, which for a completely baffling reason is continually mispronounced incorrectly. A very taxing problem indeed.