Wait, we’re not going on a summer holiday? MPs have threatened the two men vying to be the last prime minister of the United Kingdom with an immediate vote to revoke Article 50, if Downing Street attempts to cancel MPs’ holidays.
“Even the ERG are in on it,” committed Brexiter, Lord Bumble-on-Snatch, Tory MP for Bumble-on-Snatch, told LCD Views, “If any bloody Brexit patsy prime minister threatens my trip to the Rhône this summer I’ll bring them down, and fast. Leave means leave! Strictly in the paid leave sense you understand.”
And Bumble isn’t alone. Scores of MPs across the lower chamber have awoken from their almighty slumber to voice a similar willingness to act and stop Brexit, if Brexit risks stopping them getting a tan.
“It’s all very well for Jeremy Hunt to talk about ending employment in the UK as we know it, to deliver Brexit by Halloween,” Mrs Tori Tory, MP for 0.3% of the population stated, “and sure, we’ll lose the NHS to Trump, what’s not to like? But I’ve been looking forward to catching up with my old school chums on the Costa del Sol for weeks. Just because I’ve spent the last two years saying Britain will thrive under WTO rules and no food or medicines, doesn’t mean I won’t put my name to a motion to #RevokeArticle50 if Bojo threatens my summer mojo!”
How Jeremy Hunt, or Boris Johnson, will navigate the intransigency of their own MPs, if either one of them manages to become prime minister isn’t yet clear, but we suspect it’s by immediately going back on whatever they said that lead to them to become Prime Minister.
“It’s not like we’re doing any work nowadays anyway,” Bumble added, “not since Brexit took over. I’ll be just as productive with a good vintage on a deckchair in the sun.”