WHAT F*CKING RESEARCH : The world famous research institution, ERG (spelt BORG), is in a flap tonight after a judicial review ordered their um, research to be released.
“It’s a bit of a bloody shock,” ERG insider, Anonymous MP, told LCD Views, “we spend most of the money on rolls of butcher’s paper and edible crayons so Jacob can draw Boudicca over and over. Although he does draw a dragon now and then and scrawl spears sticking into it, when he’s feeling particularly cranky at the Welsh. He’s going to need extra time with Nanny tonight to come to terms with this. I’m not sure he’s ready to come out as an artist.”
The decision by a judicial review body to order the publication of the taxpayer funded research is a timely one, thanks to openDemocracy, as it’s felt there’s not currently enough ERG devised batshit policy ideas floating about.
”It’s not just Boudicca we’ve drawn,” Anonymous MP added, “we’ve drawn Agincourt several times and once we even did research into the transformative power of the toothbrush moustache.”
LCD Views would like to commend the order, as we’re (the taxpayer) paying for these lunatics to undermine our democracy and society from within all because they’re born with undeserved superiority complexes and an allergic reaction to taxation.
”I guess we could enter Jacob’s self portrait of himself driving a Panzer tank into this year’s Turner Prize?” Anonymous MP mused, “but only after we redact the top hat to hide his identity.”
The research will be released on the 11th July and will about as much use to anyone wishing to learn more about Europe as a 1930’s guidebook to Patagonia, but the taxpayer funded research will at least give us something more to laugh at the ERG about.