BREXIT BLASTOCYST : The organisers of a recent nocturnal, far right rally explained today why the event was staged at night, in a warehouse, in the dark, with the lights turned off.
“The air raid sirens were played because the people attending are idiots,” the organiser revealed, “although the ones paying for and orchestrating the rally are far more dangerous and devious. Milkshakes were banned out of fear of friendly fire incidents. So too garlic, holy water and crosses.”
The rally itself was merely staged for propaganda purposes so that the owner of the Brexit Party can use footage in social media outputs.
“I hope that it was clear why none of the rabble attending the rally were allowed to come to the VIP event afterwards,” the organiser added, “they’re only needed as props. Mr Nigel Fuhrage can’t be having to rub up alongside so much sweaty gammon for too long. He can’t physically transport the amount of hand sanitiser around that would be required.”
But the undead attending the rally didn’t go home empty handed, even if they went home as empty headed as they’d arrived.
“They got to fetishise a war they never fought in in which tens millions of people died. Given the average age of the attendees, they won’t be required to fight in any subsequent conflict either. And they were given a blue glow stick. Which was nice. It’ll splutter out and fade away just like the pretence to concern shown them by the organisers.”
But what about holding the next one in daylight so they whole world can see?
“Oh no, that would allow contrasts with pro-EU demonstrations and reveal how paltry the attendance actually is,” the organiser smiled, “oh and for health and safety reasons, as those attending catch fire in sunlight.”