CHOPE AWARD FOR SERVICES TO SOCIETY : Mark Field MP has seized the headlines today much in the way he seized the neck of a woman last night, and he’ll be hoping he’s ejected from the news cycle with the brutality and speed with which he ejected the woman he took hold of.
“His behaviour was instinctive,” a defender of Mark Field told us today, “if you see a member from an opposing clan you do what you have to do to show your entitlement and superiority. It’s instinctive. She’s just lucky he wasn’t holding a sun bleached femur at the time.”
And the lack of a weapon is a central defence for the MP’s behaviour.
“Just imagine if she had been carrying a bone herself?” the early human ancestor asked, “she may have smuggled it in passed all the machine gun toting security at the entrance and through the bag searchers. It’s likely the security services present in the room were asleep too. So some enraged monkey just had to act.”
The ‘instinctive’ defence is also useful for raising more questions.
What would he have instinctively done faced with a female individual who had made him furious and there weren’t scores of witnesses and cameras present?
Or was he just furious that his pomp and circumstance was interrupted by an opposing view?
You really have to ask yourself what’s more important.
Young people terrified that politicians in league with fossil fuel money are going to burn their future and world to the ground, or Mark Field’s need to feel important in a room full of the same people?
It’s just as well he was there, otherwise the woman may have used more words to signal her opposition to his opinions and there’s nothing that makes an alpha male at dinner angrier than that.