PM WIFFLE WAFFLE : BORIS JOHNSON’S campaign to be prime minister looks sturdier today than yesterday after his notes for dealing with a No Deal Brexit were leaked to the press overnight.
“Raab is furious,” an insider inside Johnson’s pants told LCD Views, “Boris has copied his workings. So too Sajid. All three have exactly the same plan for managing a No Deal Brexit. Although between you and me I think Raab believes in it more, but then, he’s not that bright.”
The plans, which are composed of blank sheets in a vintage notepad, are more detailed than many expected.
“He’s got as far as opening a notepad. It shows he’s thought about it. I expect he’ll begin writing things down and crossing them out sometime before the end of the summer.”
What Boris will write down, and cross out, is the focus of speculation.
“One, blame the Germans. I reckon he’ll write that down. Then two, blame the French. That’ll go down also. His target constituency in the Tory Party will bray for that.”
And the leaking of the notes is expected to cause some ‘blue on blue’ action as the other leadership contenders hit back over what they’ll claim is IP theft.
“Raab will threaten to sue Boris for plagiarism, live on air, in that TV debate Boris won’t take part in tonight. Then Sajid will threaten to sue Raab, while Rory looks on amused because he doesn’t need a plan, because he’s not threatening to do it.”
Why Boris has used an antique notepad and not a new one isn’t entirely clear, but some have speculated it’s actually his little black book and that’s the only page he hasn’t filled with the names of fruity young fillies yet.