MIA : Tory leadership contender and all round pond life heavyweight, Michael Gove, is facing pressure to explain where he’s been all week.
”He definitely hasn’t been in hiding waiting for the class A scandal to blow over. He’s must have been spending time working on himself,” a source claiming to speak from beyond the grave, I mean, inside Michael Gove’s campaign, told LCD Views.
“He went on a seriously damaging bender after Dominic Raab (so the rumour mill says anyway) spooked him into confessing to having used cocaine. I mean to be stitched up by Boris would be one thing, but to be outmanoeuvred by head timber Raab? That’s some damage to the self esteem. There’s a lot of crying into the mirror at 4am, while completely off your tits, to recover from that.”
How much damage isn’t clear, although a reported shortage of white powder in London during the week would suggest a lot.
”He’s not yet ready to take the twelve steps. But he is determined to be a better Gove. Quite what that is is anyone’s guess.”
It’s likely we will find out soon though with the Tory leadership debates scheduled to start Sunday evening.
”Television cameras are being set up inside a South London crack den for the event in the hope of making all the competitors feel right at home. Like they’re on a dirty night out that ought to end with a bit of rough and track marks.”
Somewhere like the Priory would surely have been more suitable?
Although it may give one or two of the individuals pegged down for the debate too much of a home field advantage.