GO ON, HAVE A BITE : Evil Queen of Cheshire, Esther McVey MP, has hit out hard today at the foreign aid budget, wasted all around the world feeding, schooling, medicating people and suggested the money could be much better spent at home.
“On me,” a source inside McVey’s campaign to be PM told LCD Views, “well, on Esther of course. On making her look good. Have you seen the horror show that faces her in the mirror each day? She asks it who is the fairest and it’s always someone else.”
The redirection of the foreign aid budget to making Esther appear wholesome, and just a little bit saucy, is thought to be a much better spend then stopping some child in a distant land starving.
“She’s prime meat for the gammon market,” the source continued, “sweaty, red faced middle aged men, they love a bit of bigotry sauced up with a flash of leg.”
Other uses for the foreign aid budget under McVey’s reign are also sketched out.
“Snow White is dead. That’s a first order. The massive, gigantic, monumental 0.7% of the UK budget spent making sure some child doesn’t die of dysentery would be much better spent sending palace guards out to find Snow White and drag her back to Esther’s castle.”
Red apples will also require funding. So too the closing down of a mine.
“Only little blue collar people work in it. Esther can’t actually see little people. They would be better spent carrying her litter about the land?”
And of course, the Evil Queen would require a full time personal, professional photographer and not the ad hoc one that she’s spent thousands of taxpayer’s money on in the last few years.
“You’ve got to look good in this game, or people won’t take you seriously. Just look at Mark Francois.”
In a modern political age where integrity is a fairy tale, McVey is a fairytale queen.
“Mirror, mirror on the wall who’s the most hypocritical one of all?” Would be a better question for McVey to ask each day.