GROCERY TRACKS : The government has spoken today of the need for the UK’s remaining carmaker to turn to the production of tanks, as the U.K. economy tanks.
”It’s not because we fear a land invasion by a hostile power,” Mr Bombast, junior minister at DExEU told LCD Views,
“Donald Trump came and went last week. And the other successful foreign invasion of the country is digitally based, and we in government, and on the opposition front bench, are largely in support of it,
”No, we’re talking about a domestic market requirement. You could say simple grocery shopping will become a boom market post Brexit. Especially as we’re certain to be entering that post-apocalyptic landscape in deep recession and without a functioning government.”
The desire for tanks, specially designed for an urban landscape, is certain to be strong, no less so than the fact the army maybe placed on the streets in an attempt to keep order.
”People will need to take back control of the simplest day to day activities in Brexitannia,” Mr Bombast advised, “personally I’d be looking to pick up a secondhand T-45, or Sherman, from the collector’s market today. You don’t want to be stood holding your bag for life, partially filled with a month’s flour ration, and then find you’re in the middle of a spontaneous street fight and you don’t have an armoured vehicle available, because the production line of new vehicles is too slow to meet demand. That would be a disaster! An easily avoided one if you plan ahead and act now.”
To help market the tanks the carmaker is urged to use photographs of wholesome housewives, who just can’t get enough of a big weapon on wheels.
”Fed up with the queue at the self service tills at Tesco, post Brexit? Find a teenage militia of teenage thugs has set up an unofficial toll road in your area? Well, if you own a tank you’ll be able to do something about it.”
Global Britain, the past is another country, and so is the present. Get yourself behind the wheel of a Sherman today. Remember, failing to prepare is preparing to fail.