SHINE ON YOU CRAZY DIAMONDS : Identical twin girls have taken over control of the U.K. this afternoon after Theresa May stepped down.
The Grady girls will serve as interim Tory leader and prime minister until the Conservative Party leadership contest is concluded.
”They may even be asked to stay on,” Chairman of the 1922 committee, Mr Satan, told LCD Views, “it’s unlikely whoever succeeds will be able to command the confidence of parliament. So if we can’t find a way to prorogue the meddling chamber then a little bit of the old supernatural terror maybe needed to see it out. At least until Brexit is delivered.”
It’s believed Ms May handpicked the Grady twins personally, believing they would be well suited to continue her now famous hostile environment.
”I personally would have just stuck it out,” Mr Satan shrugged, “Ms May’s knack for turning all that is good to dust was perfectly suited to the disaster capitalist project we’re carrying out. I don’t personally believe she’d exhausted her appetite for deceit, blackmail and treachery. I guess she just ran out of puff? Shame. I would have carried on supporting her. She’s one of my brightest and best.”
But out of puff May is. The Grady twins will however guarantee strong and stable governance throughout while the Prince of Lies chooses her successor and makes them an offer they can’t refuse, in exchange for temporary power.
”Anyone concerned that we’re just wasting more time while the Brexit clock runs out needn’t worry,” Mr Satan added, “given the rapidly deteriorating state of parliamentary democracy and the declining economy, that’s exactly what we’re about. So too the official opposition. Just settle in and enjoy the ride.”
We did ask the Grady girls for comment but all they would say was,
”Hello Blighty, come and play with us. Come and play with us forever…”