WORDS AND PICTURES : A public servant with a long record in high office is shortly to retire in order to write a book on leadership.
“She’s already chosen a title,” a typesetter who will have to work on the expected tome revealed, “apparently she’s taken inspiration from a famous gif and will call the book on leadership ‘This is fine’. The subtitle will be something like, sitting still while the house burns down. So it won’t be a fire safety guide. Ha!”
What font to use will be a key decision.
”I personally am pushing for a font used in poster adverts for the Titanic. Something with historical resonance. Give the book heft as soon as you open it. Well, if you open it. Helvetica or LOOK THERE’S AN ICEBERG IN FRONT OF US FOR THREE YEARS LET’S CRASH INTO IT. But that’s perhaps a bit floral for modern sensitivities.”
And how soon can we expect her to smash out the leadership guide?
”Based on the knowledge she’s gathered over years of public service? I’d say about five minutes to write the book. Most of the time will be taken up with the foreword. I don’t think it’ll take too long to write out chapters on gems like,
‘Attritional losses and their importance in overall strategic decline – taking time to go backwards daily’
or the chapter,
’Deceit and its use in eroding stability – how the loyalty of allies can be lost slowly for no gain’
Don’t really need the chapters, just the headings. They tell you all you need to know.”
It’s unusual that she has decided to write the foreword herself?
”What? I didn’t say that. Some colleague of hers is going to write it. Old fellow. Been in the career politics gig since the 70’s. Multi-millionaire. He knows about as much about leadership as she does.”
Thatll be a touching endorsement then.
”I wouldn’t be so sure. Maybe a few barbs in it. After all, she’s buggering off into retirement without delivering Lexit.”