ROLLING BACK THE YEARS : Historians have agreed today to replace the seismic years 2016-2020 in future history books with cute cat pictures, and maybe a puppy or two.
The decision was made at a meeting convened by the secret order that secretly runs the world.
The order summoned a collection of world famous historians to ask how the years concerned should be recorded for prosperity once 2020 has come, and hopefully gone.
”The focus is on Western history,” Professor Bede said, speaking of the conclusion, after the historic conflab,
“anyone else can write what they like, even if we’d like to stop them. but there is no way in hell we want future generations looking back on Brexit, Trump and lethargy about climate change and knowing we were just like, well, mostly sat with our thumbs up our asses, by majority, while our politicians and media focused more on ideological daydreams and less on stopping the growth of government by idiocracy.”
Whether or not the plan will be successful will be for future generations to judge, but it’s thought it’s worth a red hot try.
”I personally would have chosen lamas grinning and maybe root vegetables shaped like willies,” Professor added, “but we had a vote and 52% voted for the cat pictures. And that’s a magic number with any decision making progress nowadays, so there we go.”
Why the secret world order decided on the action was clear.
”They’ve screwed the pooch. Everything has gone too far. They need the slate cleaned and cats put in the place of the actual history.”
It’s not yet certain what the history books for 2016-2020 will be called but, History McHistoryface is thought to be a top contender.
2016-2020, we didn’t do anything dumb, we just looked at cats.