WHAT RHYMES WITH JEREMY : GREAT NEWS TODAY for lovers of high octane, intellectual activities with the clinching of a Universally Challenged quarter-final berth by Hunt College, Rhyming University.
“The answer was a complete shock,” the host of the competition, Taxman, told LCD Views, “it was neck and neck, but as soon as Hunt College pulled ‘Culloden’ out of the bag, in answer to the quizzical question, ‘As a prospective Tory prime minister, which Scottish town would you name drop to best convince Scots you’ve got their interests at heart?’, well who would have expected that? Slam dunk.”
The competition is intense and which colleges will feature in the final is really anyone’s guess.
“Johnson’s College, Offensive Words University, is down as the favourite to actually win, but I wouldn’t bet too much on that, unlike a famous old alumni of the college, Stanley Johnson, who is reported to have placed a cool £50K on exactly that.”
Who is favourite in your mind?
“The Roaring Rories look well placed, if you ignore their voting history in parliament and besides, as the team captain famously said in a recent interview, they can just make up the numbers they need to win. Then there’s The Saj College, Home Office University, which is doing its level best to excel in punishing immigrants, to prove it’s got what it takes to clinch the prize. But it’s really a wide open field as they’re all exceptionally challenged in one way or another.”
Surely Raab College, Dover-Calais University is also a hot favourite?
“I wouldn’t be so sure. In a unique twist there’s a timed shoelace tying competition and he’s liable to crash out in that.”
LCD Views would like to wish all competitors the best of luck and hope that none of them win, because the UK already feels challenged enough as it is.