WHY NOT HAVE A GO : The Suez Crisis was tight lipped today after The Charge of the Light Brigade entered the Tory leadership contest with what appeared to be a direct, frontal assault on the other international crisis.
”I expect the tweet was a result of a mix up in the chain of command in the Light Brigade’s campaign team,” Special K, embedded BBC reporter for all Tory matters, told LCD Views, “it has to be. The Suez Crisis is yet to confirm if it’s even entering the race to eventually replace Theresa May, sometime before the Sun supernovas and cooks us all.”
The move to take on the human contemporary British disasters, such as Jeremy Hunt, Esther McVey, Boris Johnson and so on, by historic British calamities has been expected.
”The Titanic is putting together a team too,” Special informs excitedly, like a Jack Russell shown a rat, “and with the already sizeable popularity of that catastrophe in the public’s consciousness it could have one or two of the other hopefuls running for a life boat.”
Focus now is on how the Suez Crisis will respond to the direct personal attack by the Charge of the Light Brigade.
”The Suez Crisis is to be featured in a splash this weekend in the Sunday Mail, which is believed to foreshadow its official declaration that it wants to govern the country next,
”A source close to its team of advisors says it’s to be shown running up a beach and knitting a cardigan in the hope of appearing more approachable,
”You know, less like a completely avoidable and humiliating disaster. But it’s not certain how much support it will garner from the membership as it has an exceptionally left wing agenda of promising to pretty much nationalise everything without regard to the cost.”
LCD Views remains impartial on who we would like to see takeover from Theresa May, at this stage, so we wish all the disasters, human and historical, the best of luck.
But with Brexit itself the clear favourite to replace May and achieve total control of the country, it’s difficult to see why any of them are bothering.