Labour’s Brexit banshee Kate Hoey has tried to resign from her party. However, Labour HQ has turned down this request, citing party unity.
Farage’s friend is fuming. “Kate is frustrated that Labour isn’t clear on Brexit,” says our mole, Liv Inahole. “She wants Labour to follow the Tories right up Nigel’s arse and get in a flap about floundering flatfish.”
This news follows the sacking of Alastair Campbell. Campbell was removed for registering a protest vote. “Kate has called for action from Jeremy Corbyn,” explains Inahole. “She interprets Campbell’s sacking as a sign to get on and deliver Brexit.”
Unfortunately, Corbyn has been getting round to getting on with… something… for the last three years.
Hoey is still in the Labour party, despite (probably) voting for the Brexit party. Possibly. We simply don’t know for certain. It’s a secret ballot (except on Twitter).
“They wouldn’t let her resign, because the party needs a strong Brexit voice,” said Inahole. “It’s a bit like the BBC in that respect.”
Yet a moderate voice is kicked out instantly.
“Yes, but it’s Alastair flippin’ Campbell innit,” explained Inahole. “Bloody Blairite scum. They have been looking for an excuse to get rid of him for years!”
Remember Tony Blair? Labour landslides, in power for 13 years? They must have done something right?
“Yeah, but Iraq,” she replied.
Surely Labour could well be in power again if only it opposed Brexit?
“Yeah, but we had a vote,” said Inahole, her tone like that of one speaking to a three year old. “One vote, and one sentence in a manifesto that has otherwise been completely ignored. Which means our course of action is set in stone for eternity, so we need Kate to make it happen.”
Kate Hoey resigned… to remaining in the Labour party. And Brexit is close to claiming them all as it’s own.