BLUNDERING SABOTAGES: A blonde man who expects to walk into the top job in the United Kingdom has hit on a way today to make everyone in the country forget who he is.
“If enough people stop and think about what he’s done and what he’s said over the years he’s stuffed,” a campaign strategist says, “so he’s got to either reinvent himself, bit of an impossibility, or make everyone forget who he is. This way he can bound onto the political stage again and wow the country. He’s seems fun! He’s seems smart! I wonder who he is?”
But the hiring of the famous Men In Black to tour the United Kingdom erasing every voter’s memory of Boris Johnson, back until when HIGNFY mistakenly boosted his public profile, runs a risk.
“Clearly they’re busy making people forget they have had an alien encounter, in order to keep the planet safer,” the strategist observed, “so there’s a slight risk of apocalyptic inter-galatic shenanigans if they’re taken off task just to suit Boris. But I expect that’s a risk he’s willing to live with if it increases his changes of swanning into 10 Downing Street.”
Whether or not it’s a risk the UK is willing to take is another matter.
“Not really, as only about 0.06% of the population will be asked if they want Boris Johnson to become prime minister,” the strategist shrugged, “and most of that 0.06% are already certifiably insane. To be fair, they probably don’t even need their memories erasing in the first place.”