FINAL EXCAVATION : News today is that Theresa May’s is to call an emergency cabinet meeting in Australia, after digging such a deep hole for herself she’s popped out down under.
The meeting, expected to be the fInal of the cabinet under the outgoing (not in the playful and fun loving sense) Prime Minister has been called because of the total revulsion and frenzy of vommitting that was triggered by the PM’s latest insane Brexit gamble. A real political norovirus treat.
“It does help explain a thing or two though,” our Westminster watcher comments, “why she has no bloody clue what’s happening in reality. She’s been tunnelling so deep, with and without her colleagues, nothing intelligent has been able to get through to her.”
The sudden emergence into the great southern continent is expected any moment.
”She’ll blink in the sun and realise she needs to talk to no one at all about how she’s gotten there and what to do next,” our watcher says, “like, don’t bother turning around. Get up. Dust off, just start walking. She should make Sydney by July, if she don’t die of thirst in the desert.”
She is expected to walk alone now as no one is crazy enough to go with her anymore.
”Still, it won’t be a total loss,” our watcher observes, “Australia just had a GE in which the official opposition Labour Party lost, and the leader stood down and called a leadership contest for his replacement. Which in a parliamentary system is what you’re expected to do. So she can take some notes for old Jezza. Not that he’s listening to anyone at all either.”
He may actually be tunnelling right besid her.
”They might emerge together, if tomorrow’s EU parliament election results are as expected.”