OPEN BOOK : The Government has hit back today strongly against idiots who say using Huawei 5G hardware is a security risk.
“Everyone can see through Brexit Britain anyway?” Security Minister, Mr Leak, told LCD Views, because he left his phone turned on during a meeting with colleagues, “I don’t see what all the fuss is about? What are we hiding?”
Suspicions that the choice of Huawei for vital infrastructure is more aimed at the governing Conservative party currying favour with the Chinese government, after chopping down, chipping and setting fire to the magic money tree, were also rebutted.
“We already gave them a nuclear power plant job and shut down a renewable tidal scheme in Wales, to encourage the locals to get behind the next generation of nuclear? Why not our internet? Seriously. We aren’t going to get the best facial recognition software for social scoring our population, post Brexit, if we have to make it ourselves. Our xenophobic immigration policies are disincentivizing the next generation of nerds coming here and we can’t grow our own fast enough. Let’s just hope they treat us softly when they hack us. Glass half full time, what?”
But the refusal to change course is leading to confrontation with the USA.
“We can get them back on side by joining in whatever war Trump needs to start to shore up his base for the 2020 election game. Brush off the WMD playbook chaps! This is Global Britain.”
It’s not sure the kickback will be enough though to stop the complaints from so called experts, worried that using the Chinese firm will lead to less cooperation with allies on intelligence.
“What intelligence? Intelligence has nothing whatsoever with our decisions. And besides, given both major political parties are committed to Brexit, in spite of broad awareness that it’s an agenda riddled with foreign interference and illegality, no one is going to want to tell us secrets anyway.”
Global Britain Empire 2.0, we’ve nothing to hide, and everything to give away. Just maybe don’t talk about your dirty secrets when you are standing next to your smart fridge once we’ve gone 5G.