BACK TO THE FUTURE : A comprehensive study by the Faculty of Futurology, Alfred is Great University, Wessex, has found that the United Kingdom is set to devolve back into warring Anglo-Saxon kingdoms, thanks to Brexit.
“We’re not sure if even stopping Brexit will halt the dissolution of the union,” Professor Ecgberht told LCD Views, “you see they had an independence march in Cardiff on the weekend? A massive one up in Glasgow the weekend before, that went largely unreported in the England centric MSM. It’s only a matter of time until the Cornish independence movement kicks off again. The English politicians down in Westminster, squabbling over whether or not we should have Lexit or Brexit, really have fucked the pooch, so far as unity of the UK is concerned.”
But while no one who bothered to do even the simplest bit of research in 2016 prior to the referendum is surprised at the movements in the different nations of the UK, it’s a bit of a surprise to learn the acid of Brexit is eating even into the fabric of England itself.
“If you were in one of the big cities of England, you know the type, the metropolitan bubble, and you have numerous friends and relatives from EU27 states, you’ve watched them go through hell thanks to a joint desire of Labour and Conservatives to end Freedom of Movement for their own twisted ideological aims. Are you going to stand for that? Added to your own loss of rights and freedoms with Brexit? Sod that. Go indy. It’s the way forward.”
As the study mostly focused on England, it’s uncertain if Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland will go further than separate countries and back into kingdoms or clan controlled areas, but there’s no question about England.
“A lot of the English hate themselves now. Why would they not want to leave England, but stay in England? And what do you do when searching for a new identity? You look to your roots. So it’s Anglo-Saxon all the way. That is not all bad, it certainly proves the people who turn out each weekend to stage re-enactments of famous battles from the Dark Ages were right to do so.”
Whether or not the Scandinavian countries will seek to invade and settle afterwards is not yet clear.
“Well, just don’t build your best churches on islands off the coast of Norfolk, that would be my advice,” Professor Ecgberht adds.