HEART IN A SEIVE : The husband of a woman who is under pressure to quit her high profile job (by the board) asap has spoken publicly today to request she be allowed to leave the post with dignity.
We have been fortunate enough to print the totally invented statement he released to the press, as part of the pitch for sympathy.
“For three years now as CEO, and for six years before that as VP for People, my wife has done her best to ensure any human working at UK plc was aware that they were judged primarily by the accident of their birth, and not the inherent worth of simply being a fellow human being,” the plea opened, “we all know the answer to the famous question, ‘If you cut me do I not bleed?’ is dependent on skin tone. And now, as her time at the top draws to an end, it is something of a shock to find her in such a hostile environment.”
The architects of the aforementioned hostile environment appear to be both the exec and non-exec board members, who are conspiring against the woman. And the dwindling number of aged shareholders still invested in the company.
“Too many nights now I find her sitting in leather trousers worth thousands of pounds, cradling some kitten heels, and staring bereft into the middle distance, unable to find a way forward that continues to do maximum harm to the customers of UK plc, while concentrating as much power as possible in her hands. It is a desperate situation. Where is the basic decency to afford another human self-respect and dignity at a time of vulnerability and strife? What has happened to this country?”
The plea for sympathy is liable to fall on deaf ears though.
“She is a citizen of nowhere now, politically, and that just feels so cruel,” the man added, “I hear even now there is talk of retrospective rule change to force her out of her home. What depth of heartlessness is needed to do that to someone?”
A question that simply answers itself.