WORK EXPERIENCE : Exciting news today that Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn have negotiated a one week job swap.
Under the terms of the arrangement, which are being hammered out at the moment by Starmer and Liddington, the LOTO and the PM will do each other’s jobs for six days, and rest on the seventh, before resuming their usual roles.
”It’s so Jeremy gets a chance to deliver Brexit,” a Labour source revealed, “and May gets to feel the worship of a proper, banging cult.”
How the swap will change the dynamics of parliament isn’t clear, as it will happen during the one week recess at the end of May.
”Jeremy didn’t want to be faced with making any actual decisions and neither did Theresa,” the source goes on, “but as neither are actually that interested in what parliament thinks, it won’t be problematic.”
There is a concern that the deal will accelerate capital flight out of the United Kingdom, but as both leaders are Brexiters, and as the Tories are now a party of ‘f*ck business’ too, most are sanguine about that especially impact.
”Jeremy will make sure the Islington North bus services are sorted out, that’s fod sure,” the source adds, “and he may even launch a land invasion of the Crimea as a cover so his advisor can met some friends face to face, before negotiating an orderly withdrawal.”
Expectations the week will see a revitalised NHS have been downplayed though, as both leaders are committed to ending FOM and so happy to shit all over the EU27 workers.
”The only real risk I perceive is May refusing to take her old job back,” the source adds, “as running a party that doesn’t completely hate your guts is going to be a giddy, one off experience.”