BURNING FOSSILS: THE National Grid is in the headlines today with good news for anyone in the UK concerned about national energy policy and climate change.
“The United Kingdom’s electricity grid has replaced coal with an endless seam of hot air being captured seamlessly in Westminster,” Mrs Natureel Gass told LCD Views’ energy analyst,
“phrases like ‘Brexit means Brexit’ and ‘Jobs First Brexit’ mean that coal can stay in the ground. ‘A Brexit that works for everybody’ has meant we’ve even had to turn forty eight of the country’s twenty nine nuclear power stations off. It’s amazing. This is the future. We’ve so much spare capacity we’ve begun exporting political hot air to the continent.”
But not everybody is pleased.
“The frackers are mad,” Mrs Gass comments, “like red faced, screaming about sovereignty mad. And you can’t get madder than that! I would accuse them of a conflict of interest though.”
How so? Because climate change will kill us all and developing extra sectors of fossil fuels is a sure way to bring it on?
“No. Although correct, that’s not it.”
Well what?
“The frackers have spent a lot of time buying influence with many of the very political fossils that are producing the hot air that is powering the nation’s turbines. If you pay for a piper you expect to call the tune.”
Blame for the record breaking run of non-coal energy generation has been placed firmly at the feet of previous governments.
“Too much emphasis was placed on attempting to encourage the renewable energy industry,” Mrs Gass explains, “but that was before the country went clinically insane. So there are hopes this will just be a blip in an otherwise greenhouse encouraging environment. If the fossil fuel sector plays its cards right we’ll be generating all the UK’s energy with Brexiter natural gas. 100% methane.”
https://news.sky.com/story/uk-sets-new-record-for-days-without-coal-power-11713755