SUDDEN IMPACT : LCD Views has been out and about today into the swirling smoke and burning cinders to interview the last two dinosaurs, who survived a massive comet strike on Thursday.
“I expected it to hit,” the tyrannosaurus shrugged, “I knew it was coming. I’ve been essentially demanding it arrives for nearly three years. So the mass extinction of my smaller colleagues? I was braced for impact. It’s why I went away to Wales. It was about as far from ground zero as I could get without going hiking in the Alps.”
And what about you? We asked the ageing, slow moving brontosaurus.
“It’s a great foundation to build on. I fully expect brontosauri to rule the entire landscape. We’re going to build right in the centre of the screaming crater of fire. Stubborn old herbivores like myself aren’t afraid of digging our heels in. In fact our entire policy to outwit the carnivores has been to let them call down the comet and destroy everything, thus clearing the way for the ruminants to rise.”
So neither of you see any negative in the mass extinction event? No message from the universe, none at all?
“Oh clearly there’s a message delivered by the cosmos by way of the comet,” the tyrannosaurus exclaimed.
“I was just about to say what she said,” the brontosaurus nodded along.
It’s curious to see two such varying ancient creatures singing from the same hymn sheet.
What’s the message you received?
“That the universe wants us to breed more dinosaurs!” they chorused, “what else could it be? Oh, and to use the same comms officer going forward to speak for both brontosauruses and tyrannosaurs. This won’t damage either of our brands at all.”
Well, that’s a surprise, we thought the universe smashed a comet into the Earth to tell the dinosaurs to sod off the scene and let the green and yellow striped mammals rise.