MILITARY MADNESS : Armchair general Theresa May upset many other better qualified armchair generals last night with her decision to place the entire force of Dothraki cavalry out the front of her fortress, in the dark, in the snow, in order it seems to sacrifice them entirely when Jacob Rees-mogg and a force of ERG backbenchers attacked.
”It was the easiest way I could think of to deport the lot in one foul swoop,” Ms May is believed to have told a meeting of the government’s security council this morning, “it would have taken forever to use the Home Office to destroy them piecemeal. I should be commended for saving the British taxpayer money.”
And while certainly an efficient way to dispose of a force of shock cavalry that were not wanted, in spite of their clear value if welcomed, because they were from overseas, it does raise questions of how much harm the PM is willing to do in order to satisfy whatever screaming chasm of insecurity and despair drives her to gross acts of xenophobia.
”All this talk of the Dothraki’s inherent value is missing their motivation for coming to the United Kingdom in the first place,” a spokesman for Downing Street said, “they were clearly here for both benefit and healthcare tourism and the prime minister has taken steps to protect the public from people who don’t understand our way of life.”
A debatable point, but probably not one a BBC journalist would bother questioning nowadays.
”Chris Grayling is just shocked no one is blaming him for it,” an insider at the Department for Transport told us, “although the decision not to remove the dead Starks from the Winterfell crypt prior to placing the most vulnerable down there was his, and hopefully someone will point that out.”