TGIF : Tory MP Johnny Merciless is reportedly injured after a fight with a Bladerunner, who operates under the code name of Ian Hislop.
It seems the fracas occurred during a question and answer session designed to determine whether or not the Tory MP is a replicant, like most currently elected to parliament, or an actual human being concerned about the welfare of their most vulnerable constituents. We include in this EU27 citizens, given the MP’s voting record on legislation designed to make their lives living hell during Brexit.
https://www.theyworkforyou.com/mp/25367/johnny_mercer/plymouth%2C_moor_view/votes
“It was when Ian asked Merciless to tell him about his mother that things kicked off,” our synthetics analyst says, after viewing tape of the incident, “it quickly became a shooting war.”
Why the question so enraged the suspected replicant is not yet clear, but it’s believed the answer lies in the phrase ‘the mother of all parliaments’.
“Mother is believed to take a dim view of the activities of her current adopted darlings,” our analyst muses, “in particular the current craze amongst the kids to have second incomes that dwarf their salaries as MPs, but require a fraction of the time commitment, while overseeing austerity and the punishment of anyone they can identify who was born into less fortunate circumstances than the majority of the MPs.”
It’s actually thought that the system for registering income earned additional to parliament’s salary should now be recorded as many MPs first salary, given the disparity in size to the MP one. Could this lead to a conflict of interests? It’s a pressing question that needs addressing.
“While I don’t know the ins and outs of the Johnny Merciless case, so I’m not commenting on that specifically, a general question needs to be asked whether or not massive second incomes are fit and proper for serving MPs? Because of the potential they create for distraction from the MP’s full time job as a representative of the people?”
The Bladerunner in question seems to have emerged from the tussle less wounded. Johnny Merciless has been returned to the Tyrell Corporation for repairs and it’s assumed will shortly be back in business.