Senior Tories tell terrified young to never vote Tory if they want to live as long as senior Tories

Senior Tories have maximised the electoral possibilities of the youth driven climate change protests by telling terrified young people to never vote Tory, if they want to live as long as senior Tories.

”They can frack right off!” Any senior Tory it seems, told LCD Views, “what’s more important? The avarice and greed of my shadowy backers at home and abroad, or what bloody polar bears will be doing with their time in forty years? I’ll be dead by then anyway, unless the boffins work out how to hook my brain up to that gizmo that revives dead pigs.”

And the considered response of the politicians was backed up across social media by Tory mouthpieces who pretend to be commentators.

”It shows how flipping short sighted young people are and why the voting age must not be lowered,” A Prick Boy posted, “surely they should be worrying about the reduction in opportunity across all spectrums from education to health care? The rise in violent crime resulting from the attempt to privatise policing, or how the hell they’re going to afford a home in a housing market we’ve rigged to benefit the money laundering of our kleptocratic chums from abroad? Not if the seas will be boiling puddles of acidic piss by the time they reach middle age.”

LCD Views would like to commend the current crop in power for their robust response to the climate change protestors.

By displaying clearly that not only do you wish to bugger up the next generation’s opportunities by ruining their country in the service of a hard right, conflict seeking political project (backed by climate change deniers), but you are perfectly prepared to go even further than that, by resisting efforts to ensure a viable middle age for the young, you’ve really shown them what to do with their votes when they come of age. We would just advise that when you re-jig the Conservative Party tree logo for the next general election, you make sure to show that it’s now on fire. Job done.

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