BREAKING : News wires are humming with the news that May’s Government and Corbyn’s Labour are resuming talks today confident of agreeing a plan to make their Trojan Brexit fly through parliament.
”I’m terrified,” a senior source inside the government delegation told LCD Views, “I’ve got to go and see the PM shortly to get my new orders and God only knows what new insanity she will have dreamt up while on her Easter holidays. She’s really not someone who should be left alone for extended periods with her own thoughts. She could come up with anything. The only guarantee is that it will be batshit.”
Similar concerns have been expressed on the Labour side.
”I’ve got such big splinters in my backside,” a big thinker told us, “we’ve been sitting on this giant fence post for so long now, slowly swivelling in circles so everyone thinks we’re on their side. I’m actually worried about getting sepsis. When I complain I’m just told, the leader has a master plan, just hold on, keeping turning and showing everyone a friendly face. The time to strike is soon. But any Brexit enables the far right. I really don’t know what I’m doing. I guess I just have to have more faith in the leadership.”
While the aides maybe worried we have it on good authority that between them May and Corbyn can run down the clock for some time yet.
”We’ve got a plan,” an even more senior staffer told us on the condition of anonymity, “we’re going to put Brexit into a giant wooden rabbit and wheel it inside parliament. There’s no way we can fail. This latest Brexit scheme is totally going to fly.”