Foreign Secretary Jeremy C. Hunt insisted today that exercising democracy, by voting in the EU elections, would be undemocratic. Hunt was speaking at a doomed trade summit in Japan, where his attempts to tell them how business should be done have been dismissed as ‘Huntsplaining’.
Hunt is keen to use his Japanese, so it is possible that his comments have lost a little in translation. Our interpreter, Asumi Dunno, suggested that he only does it to show off to his Japanese wife (or is she Chinese? Or Korean? Even she isn’t sure these days).
“I think he just after hanky-panky,” explained Dunno. “His Japanese very good, but he making silly mistake all the time. Silly woman think it sexy.”
What has Hunt been saying about democracy?
“He say, don’t let people vote,” said Dunno. “People voted to not be in EU, so people can’t vote in EU election. England must leave EU very very soon or his party up shit creek without paddle. People very cross, he say. People will be angry if England stay in EU. There will be big fight, he say. I think he speak testicle.”
He’s talking bollocks, you mean?
“In Japan, we say he speak with his belly cut open,” she explained. “Liar liar pant on fire, yes? People already voted. Never vote again. Democracy only happen once, in case people change mind, he say. In Japan, we say evil cause, evil effect. Evil campaign, evil policy. It very wrong. It very toxic in England.”
Why does he think exercising democracy is so undemocratic?
“I assume he don’t know,” said Asumi Dunno. “He make no sense. He say, no to bad EU, very bad indeed, but we still want EU trade deal. He say, democracy is good, but more democracy is not democracy. He batshit crazy.”
It is true that Jeremy C. Hunt is the best Foreign Secretary since Boris Johnson. And if that’s not a recommendation, I don’t know what is.