The Brexit Party has chosen the semi-legendary bird as part of the party logo. This is because, as main man Nigel Farage explains, the swastika and the unicorn were already taken.
“We can’t use the swastika, no no no no no, that makes us look like Nazis,” he said, returning Annunziata Rees-Mogg’s Hitler salute. “We are not fascists, not at all. True, we don’t like darkies and other foreign freeloaders, but we have no immediate plans to start gassing them.”
Not the slightest hint of protesteth too much there.
“As for the unicorn, well it’s already a proud symbol of England!” Farage continued. “It’s on the English coat of arms!”
British coat of arms, Nigel. And the unicorn represents Scotland.
“Yeah, well I can put up with men in skirts playing bagpipes,” spluttered Farage. “After all, who doesn’t like a dram or two of Scotch whisky?”
Yet your party’s stated intention is to break up a union. If you succeed, Scotland will likely break away and rejoin the EU as an independent nation. Brexit will drive the unicorn away.
“Yeah, well, anyway, the dodo,” coughed Farage. “It has a special place in the hearts of the British people!”
As a reminder, the dodo was a flightless bird. It was ruthlessly hunted to extinction by the Conservative Party Conservation of Species sub-committee.
Farage backed into a corner, realising too late that his Brexit dream was dying, and that he himself was as responsible as anyone.
“Dodo means dodo!” he cried weakly, waving a small plastic Union Flag given away free in the March 29 edition of the Daily Mail.
Anybody wishing to join the Brexit Party should contact Nigel Farage in person. The best way to do this is to hang around outside the BBC until he inevitably turns up.
Evolution, or devolution? Either way, Brexit is as dead as the dodo.