“OMFG! We can go on our usual summer holiday this year!” Millions of Britons have reacted spontaneously to the news that Theresa May has ground the petrified EU27 into yet another retreat in the face of No Deal Brexit, “and not the English Riviera.”
“Costa del Sol or South of France this summer?” asked married couples, co-habiting couples, civil unions, bunches of friends, threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes and consciously un-coupled pairings attempting to recouple, who have realised that Tinder doesn’t have all the answers, and of course for new couples who realised it did.
Expedia is said to be powering up additional servers just to cope with the waves of relief. People can take a break from an island riven with xenophobia and nationalist politics and go somewhere they actually recognise.
“Easyjet are breathing easier too,” our continental break analyst says, after moonlighting temporarily as an airline analyst, “although I only know that because it’s bloody obvious.”
Being able to go to that favoured hotel, villa or campsite may not solve Brexit, but it will help reinforce to millions that Brexit is a terrible idea.
“I keep drunkenly opening up Expedia in the evenings to book the standard summer fortnight and going, bloody Brexit! and then closing the browser,” one metropolitan bubble, avocado munching elite told us, “I really want to find myself at the bar with someone not from my suburb, but a funny regional accent, trying to work out if they’re a kipper or not, while happily drinking insane Spanish spirit measures and laughing at the kids.”
Go Britons! We’re not sponsored by the travel industry, but we still say go! But don’t blame us if Boris takes over the Tories next week and crashes us all out.