GLOBAL BRITONS! GET YOUR MAPS OUT AND YOUR MARKER PENS BECAUSE SWITZERLAND DOES NOT EXIST.
10 Downing Street has reacted swiftly today to the news that a Swiss court has ordered a referendum re-run, because of errors in the pre-ref build up, and the finding by the Swiss court that voters were not given the full facts prior to going to the ballot.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-47879777
“We have lately been receiving queries regarding a non-existent country’s decision to quash the result of a people’s vote in 2016 and order it re-run. This has no application in Mighty Britannia because the non-existent country concerned does not exist. So let’s have no more talk about it. Our country is united behind the result of a our rigorously conceived and administered plebiscite in 2016 and all now want the result, whatever it was, delivered.”
But while the stance from our country’s seat of power is adamant that the country concerned does not exist, behind closed doors there are whispers that this is not true and we should extend the hand of friendship.
“John Humphry’s could give them classes on how to handle referendums,” an insider told LCD Views, “Rory Stewart could assist as John’s TA. He could tell the Swiss that you just make up the numbers you want to support whatever argument, or outcome, you desire. This could be done with a series of slides while John shouts BUT THE PEOPLE HAVE DECIDED at the Swiss. It’s pretty straightforward. They’re a small country. It’s no surprise they’ve gotten confused. The mother of parliaments should help out.”
It’s believed cross party talks have now started in secret on how to handle the matter, in case too many people in the UK start not only believing that Switzerland does exist, but that also we should heed their way of dealing with a referendum, because they do a lot of it.
“Labour aren’t confirming they are talking to Downing Street about how to help out with this, but I have heard that if they are, they are insistent that referenda and not referendums is used in any official document.”
We at LCD Views say good luck to the Swiss! Even though you don’t exist! And hope we can learn non-existent lessons from your non-existent existence. Thank you.