BREAKING : LCD Views has received a leaked communication from the Downing Street bunker that says Theresa May is to request another Article 50 extension now to save time in late October.
”I’m not surprised,” our Article 50 extension specialist reveals, “I’m surprised she’s waited this long, it’s nearly 48 hours since she requested the last one.”
That’s pushing her luck a little? Surely? Apparently Macron is well fed up with her already?
”Oh, don’t worry about him. That’s just his good cop bad cop routine with Merkel.”
But surely her party won’t stand for this? And as for Labour? We’ll they’ll just be confused. You can’t move too fast with Brexit or their conscious uncoupling with their voters may get out of control.
”Most of the idiots in May’s party are busy sharpening sticks and foaming at the mouth over the October 31st extension already. If she lets them get used to the idea they’re liable to settle into a cold rage and actually come after her. This will distract them nicely. Most will spend the next twenty four hours biting their own neck now.”
But what are the chances of the EU agreeing now?
”I think they don’t care, if I’m honest, it’s just how we live now. They’ll rubber stamp the extension. They won’t even bother having a meeting this time. They’ll do it over WhatsApp.”
But what date will they give this time?
”I would put my money on a short additional extension to November 5th. That’s a symbolic date and one everyone can remember.”