The latest extension to the Article 50 notice, issued nine years ago by the then British prime minister Theresa “Maybot” May, and supported at the time by the leader of the opposition Jeremy “End FOM” Corbyn, has been agreed with the leaders of the 34 expanded EU nations.
“Earlier today I wrote to all the leaders of the family of thirty four European nations asking for the UK’s annual extension to the article 50 process,” announced Nicola Sturgeon, joint leader of the GNU (Government of National Unity) alongside Caroline Lucas,
“I am pleased to say that the roll over process for leaving the European Union was agreed with no additional conditions, other than the cancelling of the planned probations for Boris Johnson and Michael Gove, the commitment to continuing to search for Lord Rees-mogg in the Ural Mountains, and the passing of the required legislation to allow the UK to participate in the EP elections on the 23rd May 2024.”
The announcement caused little fuss widely, being now part of the yearly traditions of the British isles, but to the surprise of many it did cause SETI to make an announcement of its own.
“The brief appearance of the imperial battle cruiser over the Tower of London in late 2020 has generally been agreed to have been connected with the disappearance of the sole inhabitant of the medieval prison, Nigel Farage, who was at the time being held prior to criminal proceedings for the alleged crime of treason. We all know the trial took place in his absence after he vanished mysteriously from the tower.”
So much so old news.
“But, SETI can confirm today the arrival on Earth of a small and very rusty droid, which appears to originally have been designed as a mini-bar and ashtray, but was modified to carry a videotape of the kind last used on Earth in the later stages of the 20th century.”
Ooo?
“Scientists at NASA have played the tape, after fetching a Betamax tape player from a museum, and can confirm it is a message from the Emperor Farage announcing his decision to run in the 2024 EP elections as leader of his latest party, The Death Star Party. Furthermore he has issued instructions for the design of the ballot papers. The DSP is to be represented on the ballot by a half moon death star and a properly shaped, traditional British banana. Thank you for your time.”