LCD Views can report on fantastic news today that the esteemed school of paranormal study, the European Research Group, is to undertake research for the first time, ever.
“It’s because we keep accidentally creating the impression that we’re fascists,” ERG spokesman, Mr Idiot, told LCD Views,
“none of it is intended. Not the nicknaming ourselves after KKK leadership, not Bravermann using language used by a far right mass murderer, not Jacob’s careful diatribes over the health benefits of concentration camps, not the foaming mouthed desire to have fundamental rights equate to personal wealth (preferably of the inherited kind), not the calling for a street group named after a famous fascist one, none of it. Total accidents.”
The lack of research by a group that, perhaps cynically, put the word research in its name, has long been a reason for questions by unpotatriotic traitors suspecting the ERG may not be the benevolent institution of disinterested study it likes to portray itself as.
The research will be extensive and leave no stone unturned.
“All these unintentional links to far right symbols and movements must halt now,” Mr Idiot affirmed, “it’s becoming a public relations calamity. People are suspecting we don’t have two brain cells to rub together amongst the lot of us.”
So far right links are out? As soon as the research shows you what to avoid?
“What? Don’t be an idiot!” Mr Idiot shouted, his eyebrows rising into his hairline, “we need to find any far right symbols or movements we haven’t yet linked to and link to them immediately. If we keep stumbling on without doing the research we may miss some!”