Soothe your worried brows, start catching up on sleep and make sure you begin having a proper breakfast again, the Brexit process is now in orderrrrr.
”Parliament is to move to Bedlam,” our Westminster watcher confirms, “it’s thought that until Brexit is abandoned, and the lunatics no longer run the asylum, a different historic building would be better suited for parliamentary sessions.”
There has been resistance to the move, tabled in a motion in the Commons, for some time, but each time it is delayed the front benches of both main political parties make it clear the shift is overdue.
”This will allow the refurbishment of the Palace of Westminster to proceed much faster too,” our watcher notes, “a tangible benefit of the Brexit process. It needs to be completed in time to re-open as a museum for what was once one of the world’s most admired representative democracies.”
It’s believed the final straw come after PMQs today, when PM on her last legs, T May, lambasted the house for not doing what she is ordering them to do, in spite of her order being clearly batty.
”I don’t think most of the MPs will notice the shift to be honest,” our watcher concludes, “the ERG will clearly feel it’s a place they can probably boss too. Bit disorientating being a lunatic running an asylum when the building wasn’t constructed with that in mind.”
Is there any chance of stopping Westminster becoming a museum and MPs moving back in?
“Not unless you can convince enough of them that what they’re doing to the U.K. right now is completely batshit crazy.”