The Queen is expected to write to her former colony across the pond today and ask to borrow the USA’s 25th amendment. A change to their constitution made in the early 1960’s to enable the removal from office of a leader who is plainly bonkers.
“They’re not using it,” a palace insider told us, “I mean plenty of yanks keep talking about using the 25th to remove Donald Trump from office, but as of today it’s still snugly behind glass with a little hammer sitting next to it.”
It’s believed if the Americans agree to loan us the 25th we can promise to return it as soon as possible.
“It may look a little shop soiled, I confess, after we’ve had a run with it,” the insider continued, “cleaning that mass of scrambled egg that is currently prime minister off the big chair at 10 Downing Street is not going to be seamless.”
And the clock is ticking…
“Yes, we’ve just a couple of weeks now until the UK is due to sacrifice hundreds of international agreements and its very place at the table of power in its region. Car and financial firms are leaving daily, the list of rights ordinary people will have burnt in their faces, on the back of a promise that the UK executive won’t then burn their face at some point in the future, grows longer and longer, but here we are and parliament does nothing of substance?
“Maybe we could use the 25th to clear out the lot of them and start again? But then the Americans only have one copy, I don’t suppose we can use all of it?”
But what if they say no? They need to keep it close in case they want to use it.
“Then we’re stuck relying on parliament.”
Oh. Dear USA, we will return the 25th as soon as we’ve removed Theresa May and the ERG from office. How much do we need to pay?