“We’re going to need to hide in the back room of a pub for a long time and summon up the courage with the door barricaded,” an MP, who wished to remain imaginary, told us today, “it’s going to need to be a herd mentality when we go out to kill the Brexit zombie, as there’s not one amongst us who individually has the leadership skills to just get it done clean.”
By get it done clean do you mean without the bedwetting and pants soiling experience of locking yourself away in the back room of a pub, while the monster rages outside groaning ‘brains, brains’?
“Yes. I wish we had enough to go around of those too. Alongside courage. I’m not sure you shouldn’t be writing this up as a ‘Wizard of Oz’ piece and not seeing a still in your mind from ‘Shaun of the Dead’ as you do it?”
‘I Am Legend’ maybe more appropriate, because Brexit will devour pretty much everyone if it happens. But how will you get this time to hide and get up the guts to go out and attack the zombie together? The days are flicking past faster and faster now. Brexit is almost here.
“An Article 50 delay it will have to be. Buy time. Wait for a hero to arise, or wait for us all to finally face the inevitable moment of taking responsibility together to do what has to be done to safeguard our constituents.”
You’re not filling me with hope. If Cooper/Boles doesn’t pass tomorrow May will have you all right where she wants you.
“Where’s that?”
Barricaded in the back room of a pub while she feasts on the bodies outside and summons up the energy needed to tear the barricade down and go inside and eat the lot of you.
“We’re going to need to take our shovels inside with us, aren’t we?”
And a few shotguns and a Mad Max car if I were you.
“We’re going to need a bigger backroom.”
Get it done. The future of our children relies on you.